Aries NN vs. Libra NN- we're both pissed off at each other

As has been previously mentioned around here at some point, my mother and I have opposite NN/SN's from each other. She's Aries NN and I'm Libra NN.

I would like to share with you a particularly irritating conversation we just had on the phone. Background: Mom's always been a shopaholic, but since Dad died it gets worse and worse.

"I am really out of control."

"Yes, you are."

"I need someone to crack the whip on me."

"Well, you're going to have to do it for yourself, because nobody's going to come along and take care of you and you don't listen to me."

"You're going to have to crack the whip on me."

"You don't listen to me."

"When have you ever told me to stop spending money?"

"LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, AT THE DOLLAR STORE." (She wanted to buy a bunch of random toys "for the kids next door." She is not close to these children. Or for that matter, even SEEING them at Easter to give them a buttload of Peeps toys. I only got her to put back about a third of the pile. She also got mad that I talked her out of buying her psuedo-boyfriend some ugly rubber cow.)

"Oh, that's the dollar store, that doesn't count."

(I smack my head at this point, and don't even waste my time mentioning the fact that an hour ago, her friend was calling me for help in getting Mom to take back $1000+ worth of jewelry to the store, and the ensuing "You only listen to her, not me or psuedo-boyfriend," and the "[Psuedo-boyfriend's] mad at me for not listening to him" sneak phone calls she made to me while her friend was out of earshot.)

"Mom. YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME. GO SEE A THERAPIST and maybe THEY can crack a whip on you."

*silence* "If you love me, you'll do this for me. You have to."

"Way to manipulate me, Mother."

It's like a bad comedy skit some days.

The books will tell you that contrasting nodes are beneficial, because you can teach the other one. GOD, DOES THAT EVER NOT FUCKING WORK. Mom absolutely is codependent (without someone to cling to on a 24-7 basis any more), doesn't get anything done without someone else, can't manage on her own. Boy, does she ever make that clear.

On the other hand, who the hell else is going to hold her hand all the time? She refuses to officially date (I will not get into the psuedo-boyfriend issue, let's just say he's not gonna be there 24-7 either), I can't bear to live "at home" any more, and your friends can't be your babysitter 24-7 either. She NEEDS to learn independence by now, because you can't always count on a helping hand to be there when you need it. But, she refuses, and keeps looking for only "acceptable" help, i.e. me. And yet, she won't listen to me because I'm the child. So in the end, she's "out of control", refuses to control herself, and won't listen to the lone person she will supposedly "accept" to ride herd on her. Yeah, that's lovely.

In return, she certainly reinforces my Aries SN every time I think, "God, you HAVE to suck it up and deal on your own! It's not the worst thing ever!"