Astro-Barry and prophetic urges
Doing a little catch-up on reading his overall weekly chats. There will be tons of whining within.
As I've observed how this Venus retrograde is hitting the charts of my clients, I've been letting them know they're presently getting a sneak preview of what's coming down the pipeline in 2010 and beyond.
Venus's retrograde through Aries carries her over the same steps that both Uranus and Jupiter, in conjunction with one another, will soon be following.
And you can't find a more potent astro-symbol of hot, fast, sudden and abrupt change than a Jupiter-Uranus conjunction in Aries, headed our way next year.
Those most impetuous impulses you've recently experienced, then, tempting you toward some wild-and-crazy entrée into a new world (new job! new relationship! new place to live! a whole new life!) aren't entirely without merit. They point to a hot-button issue that will, over the next year or two, increasingly compel you to take a gutsy risk—one that affirms you're spunky and spirited enough to choose your own freedom—regardless of whatever other collateral disarray your personal uprising will leave in its wake.
Hell-bent on 'holding it together'? Committed to preserving the status-quo? This Jupiter/Uranus-in-Aries energy is not one to mess around with. It'll take out an entire city block, if that's what's required to shake you out of complacency and liberate your spirit. Between now and 2011, you will change that dramatically. We all will. If you don't spread your wings and fly away from the nest, then the almighty hand of some secretly benevolent force will push you out. Which way will you have it?
And this is where I'm ah...metaphorically losing it entirely. (I just restrained myself from using a bodily function example. Why be that gross?)
I am having the urge to find a more artistic job. I've been doing my current one for six years or so now and I like about everything there BUT what I do on a daily basis any more, which has gotten more rote and less fun.
Problem being, it's not like I'm going to get hired to do crafts or write any more. My former industry is flushing down the toilet, as are all writing jobs as far as I can tell, which is why when I got booted out in the last recession, I switched to doing something more stable. Of course, I live in one of the more budgetarily fucked states to boot (then again, the only state I hear that wants to hire people any more is North Dakota, and uh...no.) That sort of thing doesn't exist as a stable job with health insurance either. I volunteer at the lone artistic place I know of with insurance, but very few people get paying positions there (I am actually not legally allowed to be paid by them and I do two jobs there!), and I'm not qualified for any of the two paying jobs that exist there now.
And that's pretty much my sticking point. Nasty health conditions run in my family and I am butt-terrified of getting diagnosed with one someday and not having insurance. Yeah, sure, I could get away with getting some individually now, but that won't last forever.
I keep coming back to the same problem: If I want to work in something more artistic, I'm going to HAVE TO, NO EFFING CHOICE ABOUT IT, be an entrepreneur. There is no option for stability and safety out there WITH artistic fun, short of marrying for money (and despite my Jupiter in the 8th house, I don't think I'm going to be managing that). And with all my heart and soul, I don't WANT to be the one financially in charge. I've made attempts at starting my own business for years and my heart is not in the business end. It kills the fun entirely for me and even when I made money, I didn't enjoy it and felt crappy about it. And if you have your own business, no "must take you" insurance for you, baby.
I cannot see any way around the have to's of this, because our world doesn't work in any other way. And I am PRACTICAL (Taurus), and I can't just be all airy-fairy pie in the sky "follow your dreams like a scampering puppy" here.
And given the timing of this, it's just really, REALLY bad to not be able to come up with any kind of practical anything. The only talents I have in the world are not in the slightest bit valued, are "frills," and are the first thing to get booted in a "everyone hunker down and sit in the dark so as not to pay the electric bill" world. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
I would much rather hold at status quo. That was my life plan after getting booted from the "dream" job. Well, I should say that that was my plan (such as it is 'cause I can't really make plans) before I got the "dream" job as a fluke, and I pretty much planned all along to endure at a day job and then use the money to do my own thing on my own time.
I am pretty pissed knowing that in a year or two or three (at the very least in 2013, transiting Uranus hits my sixth house around my birthday. Gee, THANKS) I will be forcibly booted out.
I mean, I guess it's better than getting booted right here and now. I have maybe a year or more to plan ahead. I just...can't come up with a plan! Nothing works on a practical level for this! I keep reading entrepreneur blogs and I truly do not get how they can think like this and somehow make money.
We're not at that peak moment yet, alas. Eternally grateful as we are to astrology for its ever-present heads-ups, we see we have a good year or so before such choices will be made for us, should we refrain from making them ourselves. In this interim, blessedly, await countless chances to pick the option that'll leave you feeling pumped up, energized and 110% alive over the other safer possibilities. The more audaciously you base your decisions on that spark of what is personally true for you (though it may baffle those around you who don't understand), the less pressure from having ignored your inner insight will have built up inside you…and the less likely your 2010-11 version of 'hot, fast, sudden and abrupt change' will destructively blindside you.
The temptation to bust out and embrace impulsivity, which is currently being dangled in front of you by Venus retrograde, may be enough to kick-start the bolder among us on this voyage to fresher pastures. Including both the pre- and post-retrograde shadows, this period from February through May 2009 is dripping with circumstances to suit our personal whims on the spur of the moment…and if we grab those shots when they appear, launching a cascade of one snap decision fueling the next, we're carried off into that 'whole new life' before we get the chance to determine what's hit us, and away we go!
You are right to be scratching your head, of course, since Venus retrograde supposedly confuses our ability to discern 'golden goose' from 'fleeting folly'. If we opt for the impulsive now, aren't we gambling with the possibility that what we so heatedly desire is, in fact, not what we imagine it to be…and that, in the end, we'll be disappointed?
No question about it: Yes, it's a gamble. There are no guarantees as to what's behind the mystery door—only the knowledge that, if you do indeed feel moved to open it but are simply too fearful to let yourself proceed, you'll always wonder what was there.
And if instead you go for it, only to find you just sold your farm for a handful of beans, all hope needn't be lost. Maybe they're magic beans, which you never would've wound up with if you hadn't taken the initial step. Maybe they'll grow into a giant beanstalk you can climb up, carrying you to the next mystery you'll encounter. Or maybe, in the momentary sorrow following your immediate disappointment, you'll come across someone compassionate to your plight…and the two of you will fall madly in love. Who could know in advance? There's only one way to find out: by doing.
This current phase confronts us with both the pros and cons of making split-second, impulse-driven decisions to suit our own self-directed preferences. In an instant, we can turn left instead of right and alter the whole destiny of our existence. That weightiness is sometimes sufficient to paralyze us, in worry that we haven't properly analyzed the relative benefits of the leftward and rightward avenues. Yet, no matter our careful analyses, we still can't know what's behind the next curve—even if we have a detailed map, we cannot account for adverse weather conditions or other acts of fate.
How bravely we're willing to march on now, when we aren't sure where each additional step is carrying us, will only assist us in treading the ever-more-unfamiliar ground that lies ahead. By mid-2010, when both Jupiter and Uranus converge in Aries—in opposition to Saturn and in square to Pluto—we'll encounter a similar-but-more-dramatic need to proceed against a backdrop of truly foreign terrain. In such settings, our in-the-moment instincts are all we've got.
I feel sick. I do not know how to balance the Saturnian practicality with the Uranian ZANY GO FOR IT SCREW PLANNING-itis. I don't even HAVE Virgo or Pisces and I feel the dilemma.
