Fun with imaginary couples' synastry.

I haven't done much with regards to synastry. For one thing, I haven't been coupled with someone in years, so who was there to practice on, and I sure as hell didn't want to say, practice this stuff with my exes's birthdates.

Anyhoo, I got a wacky idea for how to practice this stuff: track down the birth information of my favorite celebrity crush (out of sheer embarrassment and Google paranoia, let's not say who it is, mmkay?) and compare his stuff to mine.

I suspected that we would probably hit it off if we ever met in person (though yeah, THAT ain't ever gonna happen), and there'd be an attraction, but we'd have a few things differing between us that might not mean we'd make it as a lasting couple. Namely, he has a big ol' domestic I-wanna-be-Ward-Cleaver-in-a-few-years vibe that he's been known to yak about in public a lot, and i'm the sort of person who'd rather chew off a limb than have a family with 2 requisite kids and be the domestic goddess of his dreams. I also guessed that he'd be a fellow Sagittarius moon, and I suspect that he's something like Taurus rising. This comes from reading the Katherine de Jersey books- she goes on about how people kind of look like their main signs a lot, and he's kind of got the round-face thing going on like me. (I look more like a Taurus than a Scorpio, maybe that's because I have more planets in that. That and I can't exactly tell on my own if I have Scorpio bedroom eyes. Seriously, YOU try giving yourself smoldering looks in the mirror without laughing. It's like you turn into Zoolander. BLUE STEEL!) And he's got the Sag body type (long-legged), as do I.

Well, I couldn't find his birth time anywhere so I couldn't confirm the rising sign or figure out in what signs his houses are placed, but I got enough stuff to work with. I was right on the Sag moon, heh.

Anyway, in some areas, we were quite compatible. The Venus and Mars connections were all warm and fuzzy sextiles on his end and mine, and our Mars and Jupiters are similarly compatible. So, that equates to "sex up the wazoo, woo!" And presumably our Sag-ishness would get along very well too, partying it up or something. If he did turn out to be a Taurus rising, we'd probably be even more compatible, with opposing Uranuses and axis points. I'm also amused that he has Sun conjunct Pluto, which attracts Scorpio types. The same link says that if you have a T-square (I do, OF COURSE), you attract someone who has a personal planet within orb of your squares.

On the other hand, as a non-domestic person it kinda gave me the heebie-jeebies to see that he has Venus in Virgo and two planets in Cancer. All nurture-y and domestic and neatnik-I-wanna-June wife. Blech. It was kind of amusing reading The New Astrology For Women and hearing about how a Moon and Venus describe what kind of woman he wants- he wants an anal nerd with a neat house, AND at the same time, a globetrotting party girl who's hilarious and the life of the party. Um, yeah, GOOD LUCK FINDING THAT MIX, buddy. No wonder despite the "I wanna be married with kids in a few years" stuff, he's still single.

Okay, so I'm a nerd and except for the fact that I'm a slob, he would probably think that was hot. He could like, pull off my glasses and get turned on every time I make a list in my Palm, hah. And the Venuses of us both are earth signs.  And even if I don't get to travel for shit and I'm about as exotic as a dandelion, I've still got the same Sag-ishness. So we'd still probably be hitting it off really well, except for his bitching about my messy house. Course, the ironic thing is that if I wasn't so utterly turned off by all things domestic due to years of family squabbles about such things, and if my family weren't nuts, I probably could have been a domestic goddess. Everyone gets quite weirded out to hear of a Taurus who doesn't love to cook and garden, and yet, there I am with another dead plant on my desk and a fridge full of frozen dinners instead of fresh fruit.

Then we get to the trouble areas: CONJUNCT SATURNS, PEOPLE. Not only does his Saturn also square my moon even more closely than my original aspect does, his sun squares my Saturn exactly and his Saturn squares my Venus exactly. Bad, bad, bad. Parent issues with the moon and sun, and as for the Venus, he'll think I'm too rigid (okay, probably true when I am not flexible on the "let's have a family!" issue) and I'll never tell him I love him. (Doesn't help that I have VsS natally already. I guess I shouldn't have chosen a celebrity who is also gonna go through Saturn Return fairly soon.) Then again, I don't think my not "screaming my love to the sky" (TM Surviving Saturn's Return) is a problem when it seems likely that we'd be friends who found each other attractive, but would end up splitting up if we got into a relationship when his biological clock started screaming and mine stayed asleep. I don't think hopping into a sexual affair when we're both partnership-oriented out the wazoo and can't get into a long-term partnership with each other when that's what we'd want would be a good idea, so I wouldn't drop the L-bomb anyway!

The odd thing about Venus square Saturn, though, is that it's one of those "fated" elements with staying power. Well, all of the Saturn aspects are, apparently. According to this and this, SOME kind of Saturn aspect HAS to be in a chart in order to keep people together, and if there isn't one, they will probably not stay together for long. So we'd be having two fat bad aspects on each other where one ticks the other off, but we'd be stuck like glue together, as friends even if nothing else. I'm not sure if that's good or not! Even more amusing, if he did turn out to be Taurus rising, according to that second link we'd be pretty compatible in the 2nd/8th houses.

I find it kind of interesting that he has all of this partnershippy-must-get-married stuff, and THEN has the Sag moon that wants to party it up. Then again, I have similar urge-to-merge going on in my chart, and god knows I don't play the field. (I guess one has to trump the other.) I usually end up dating someone who lives in another town, or is a workaholic, or has a lot of business trips. This way I get my space enough to not have a problem. Considering that he's in the entertainment industry, if he found a chick willing to deal with him being away for months, that could work for him, I suppose.

If he does have Uranus in the seventh house, that would mean he wants an unusual woman and/or has to have some kind of unusual marriage arrangement that allows for freedom. That'd be a pretty damn big clash to have in one's chart- does he go for the little Virgo earth mom of his dreams, or for a Uranian weirdo who doesn't mind if he's out of town a lot? Not a lot of people are going to combine that well. (I lean towards the second one.)

So I suppose the overall conclusion is what I figured: we'd find each other hot, make great pals, but could never get married because his need for domesticity and my need for non-domesticity wouldn't mesh at all.

It's probably a good thing that we'll never, ever meet. Things would be decidedly wacky (or just plain karmically FRIGHTENING) if we did!