I hate astrological codependency with a passion.

Whee, this is a RAGING NARCISSISM POST! Be forewarned! Heavy navel gazing ahoy!

On the one hand, I have the following aspects:

• Libra NN (in eleventh, technically speaking)
  
• Sun in 7th on descendant
  
• Chiron in 7th on descendant
• Venus in 7th
  
• Ruler of 10th (Sun) in the 7th
• Juno in 4th house, on IC
  

On the other hand, I also have:

• Aries SN (in fifth, technically speaking)
• Sagittarius moon
• Moon opposition Venus
• Venus square Saturn
• Moon square Saturn
• Juno in Aquarius
  

So, my big ol' shittin' deal in life is that I am supposed to become a freaking Care Bear and share and nurture and bond with others, blah blah blah. Except for the part where that's not what I'm used to or what I prefer, and I've had enough Saturnian hard knocking for me to believe with all my heart that self-reliance is by far the best option.

Or to put that into more graphic terms, half of me wants to cling like a psychotic barnacle and the other half is all, "Let my people gooooooooooooo already!!!!111!!!"

This does not work. And only one side at a time can be satisfied, really.

At the moment, the universe is currently rubbing the FAMILY concept into my face like dirt. It's getting to be that damn time of the year again...man, I hate the holidays approaching. Once the Santa Claus thing gets out, it's all downhill from there, isn't it?

It all boils down to:

• How dare I want to not spend the holidays with relatives! Note: last year's NOT spending Thanksgiving with relatives was a lot more fun than sitting on their couch watching the dog show on TV while the other kids were running off to the gym or whatever they do. I would have liked to have done that again this year, but no dice. (To be fair, the agreement with my mother was to have ONE holiday season alone and then go back to the family afterwards, so I am stuck.) 
• Mom claiming I think the relatives hate me. I don't think they nearly feel that strongly about me. I think they would if say, they found out I had "weird" interests (like uh, this site), but right now I'm either another body in the room or someone to throw peanuts at periodically, depending on the relative. I just don't get why I am supposed to think that's so wonderful.
  
• My shrink has offered to referee. A date has been set for referee-ing. Gulp.
  
• My shrink also said that I "visibly choke on the word family." And I do. It pretty much makes me want to spit. I apparently need to look for a word that doesn't make me spit but means about the same thing. I am also to talk to my ah, spiritual counselor/mentor chick about this, but I haven't uh, brought that up yet.
  
• I am supposed to consider my friends as family. Said friends (which is to say, the local contingent) also say this. This is not a bad idea, but I wonder how well that is going to go in a year or two when people start moving. And how well do nakamas work when someone leaves, anyway?
  
• Reading this on Salon.
• This week's Pushing Daisies.

And not exactly family, but there's this:

"When a person invites love into their life, very rarely will their horizons not expand. When a person finds an animal to love and who also loves them back, they become a different person from who they once were in a way I cannot find adequate words to explain."

Sadly, I haven't really been in the mood for that. Well, I've pondered getting a pet for that reason, but since I'm hardly ever home, that's probably not a good idea.

Either way, I find the whole thing to be a real bitch.