Michael Lutin monthly
Of course there will be the usual financial tricks that seem to go on and on with you forever pulling rabbits out of hats at the very last minute. Now more than ever your powers of manipulation must come into play.
I sadly am relating to the middle of this a lot more than I'd like to be:
Oh god, yeah. I'm actually getting really sick of the romantic fantasy life- I mean, really sick, like "This is SO corrupting my head" sick. I've been trying to think of some way to "fill the vacuum", as it were. My shrink immediately suggested meditation when I asked, and I was all, "Sounds good," then I remembered that my brain goes to fantasyville during times where I can't meditate. Like, say, I'm walking down the street.The need for intense, committed intimacy persists, and while you’d love to blow everybody’s mind with your performance antics, you still have to put a lid on some of your wilder romantic fantasies.
True dat. I have been at odds with myself about that for YEARS. I miss 2004-5 or so, the last period of time where I was totally thrilled with my state of being. "Waaaah, wanna mayun" has been creeping in ever since. (Goddamn, I hate my seventh house stellium of codependent needy.) And yet, I'm still not at all really inclined to actually go get one. So.... (see below)For one thing no matter how you yearn to hold that baby in your arms once more, you have to admit that something prohibits you from being able to dedicate yourself completely to the one over the many. So on the issue of personal love vs. freedom, you are naturally going to be at odds with yourself for a while in these head over heart matters.
Totally true. My arguments against are:
You continue to have dialogue after dialogue with yourself in a noble effort to convince yourself that you’ve chosen the right path.
- Need extensive therapy for like 5-10 years to straighten out issues first (see below).
- Also, given the current situation where my mother is in constant need of attention (please let her find a new husband, please please...too bad she shoots herself in the foot before the first date), I'm not going to be putting some random new guy first over her. I'm aware this is bad for relationships, but let's face it, who's gonna be around longer? And who's going to be under stress being pulled apart between the two? (Someday when I get through reading it, I will be reviewing/mentioning a book on astrology and mother-daughter relationships. Good lord, do the issues ever repeat here.)
- I'm really like, super busy and still disinclined to drop anything I'm doing to make time for a boyfriend every night.
- Freedom ROCKS THE HOUSE.
- making myself more socially acceptable, 'cause I'm sure not now
- NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYY
....
Even though you don’t know where in God’s name you are headed right now, it is important for you to keep all options open, explore all avenues and see where you land.
Your heart, however, has not interest in your rational, detached rationalizations. Your heart wants love and it wants it now.
This is definitely going on. I'm churning out projects galore, and it's National Novel Writing Month.Creatively you’re more alive than you’ve ever been, and once you’ve channeled your creative drives, you’ll have your audience again.
I keep waiting to figure that part out.
Remember that Pluto, your ruling planet is changing signs again and preparing for a new fifteen year journey, and when Pluto changes signs, all Scorpios shed their skins. They molt and transform into a totally different being. There’s no avoiding it. It’s your nature. You love it. And once again, as you have experienced time and time again in your life, a whole new path awaits you.
