52 posts tagged “saturn return” (page 2)

I looked at the links on Metafilter for this guy, read his writing, thought "What a narcissistic douche, and his writing is boring, yawn" and clicked away, but then for some reason I read the article about his blog. And I couldn't help but take note:

"On March 3, 2009, Arthur Kadyshes quit his job as a financial adviser at an American Express franchise in Conshohocken, changed his name to Arthur Kade, and embarked on “The Journey.” 
“The Journey” (his capitalization and punctuation) had been a long time in the making, the product of several converging events: an awakening timed to his 30th birthday in 2008, years of psychotherapy, the dissolution of a relationship with a woman to whom he’d almost become engaged. “It got to a point where I went into work one day and there was no passion,” Kade says of the career he had “conquered,” the salary “in the six figures,” the townhouse “professionally decorated with designer furniture,” trips to the “most exotic places in the world,” sex with “the most beautiful women in the world.” “I’m a passion-driven person,” he says.
Kade has given himself three years — and approximately $500,000 from the sale of his financial-planning franchise — in which to become a Hollywood actor, in the vein of “Bruce Willis or Mel Gibson or Christian Bale.” Never mind that his entire acting experience had hitherto been limited to a theater minor from Temple. He’s rented out his townhouse, taken up residence on various friends’ Center City couches, and hired an agent. He spends every day scouring acting websites, makes regular trips to New York for auditions, works out twice a day, takes Botox injections as well as a potentially dangerous over-the-counter muscle builder, plus the virulent anti-acne drug Accutane for his adult acne, and has accepted all the low-paying, non-speaking “background work” he can get — “I’m not a fan of the term ‘extra,’” he says, “it’s demeaning in my eyes” — including on the TV show Gossip Girl as well as in a movie being filmed in New York and the M. Night Shyamalan movie currently being filmed here.
All of which means a few years back, this would have marked the end of this story. Barring a lightning strike, “The Journey” would almost certainly have ended with Kade fading away to nothingness. But Arthur Kade made a fateful decision — to launch the website Arthurkade.com.
The result is a blog that is equal parts diary, public exhibition and, in the eyes of many, train wreck. It has made him a cult hero — or, more accurately, villain — not only here in Philadelphia, but, as ridiculous as it sounds, around the world."

Honestly, he still sounds like a douche, but I can't help but notice the dramatic Saturn Return behavior turn here. And I kind of have to admire him deciding to go after a goal like that.

My Tryst With Saturn. Hoo boy, is it ever.

Here. And here. Good reading.

...is now a couple of plays.

I'll admit it. I miss every chance handed to me because I'm not ready at that time. And then it is too late.

Here's a non-astro example: I don't drive. When I was 16, I was a spoiled brat...well, I still am (Taurus), but my parents would have bought me a car had I learned how to drive then like I should have. Talk about a missed opportunity, right? I could have had it very easy if I'd just sucked it up and drove like everyone else on the right timeline. But I'm an idiot who panics and cries and crashes, and thus I wasted it. Everyone who's tried to teach me has gotten fed up or terrified or both very fast, within 3 sessions of me behind the wheel, and now I'm pretty much out of people for practicing with unless I pay them. (And since a paid instructor is what screwed me up in the first place, I really don't feel like giving another one a chance. Though to be fair, even if I paid someone, I'd still need a free volunteer for more practice after the sessions were over.)

Even if now, today, I decided really and for truly I WILL DRIVE GODDAMMIT, I am pretty well out of support from others in order to do it. I scared the shit out of everyone who wanted to help me, and they had enough. And you can't do it alone, argh. Total wasted opportunity. I wasn't ready to drive when the window of support was open, and now it's shut and I probably will never manage at this point.

This is why I tell everyone with kids to teach their kids from the age of 8 or 12 or something. They really need to ALREADY KNOW HOW to drive BEFORE the official lessons start. My parents insisted on Being Legal and we have all lived to regret that choice.

This comment is sadly me:

Ever see a person who failed their first Saturn Return and were unable to transition into adult responsibilities? Someone who missed the point of the individuation and spiritualization process of the midlife set of transits? Ever see someone who has missed the point of the Chiron return at 51 or the second Saturn return at 59? All these are psychological and spiritual growth experiences. There is just something empty about these people, failed potential, lost opportunities.

I am empty and a failure. Whee. I still can't figure out adulthood. I didn't get my shit together. I was too busy dealing with Dad-dying stuff to grab life by the scruff of the neck and make it do what I like at the right age and time. Now that I have the time, I can't get myself to move on it for shit. Or to even figure out step A. Step A, of course, is driving, because you can't do anything in the world (outside of my town anyway, which is one of the few places in America where a non-driver can exist and survive on their own) without a car and driving it a LOT.

*sigh*

Here.

Another stuck person, Not sure what to make of this.

I related more to this podcast, which featured a woman with a family who wants to go on tour with her husband, but should she have a more boring and stable job? Naturally, she's in the Saturn Return...

I liked how they did this: they analyzed how many elements she had of rebellion/independence in her chart (Mars in Aries in 10th, sun opposite Pluto (Pluto in 7th square Mars in 10th), Gemini ascendant) versus the elements of the status quo (Moon/Saturn in Virgo in 4th, Jupiter in Cancer in 2nd. Of course, she's right in the middle between the two. Uck.

They said that squares are a call to action/crisis invoked, but oppositions are more tension that doesn't have an immediate answer.

Interesting read.

I am probably more than just a bystander in this.  That is, it’s occurred to me that he cannot go any further without me. He has already gone as far as he can go without me and vice versa. It just takes both of us to fulfill the destiny.  So here I am signed on and guess what? I feel as daunted as I ever.

It is not enough to make me turn away though. I’m convinced if I turn away I will be right back where I am eventually. In a week? In another 28 years? In another life?

Natal chart and analysis over here. I'm amused at his talk about stuff- so Taurean.

The last interview he did has a Saturn Return story in it:

I was always swimming against the tide. I was always out of step. Not only did I quit school, but I got kicked out of three schools along the way. I eventually got asked to leave the air force a year early—it wasn’t dishonorable, but it was a general discharge, which is a step down—because I did not shape up, I didn’t like authority, I had three court-martials. I was kicked off the alter boys, I was kicked off the choirboys, I was kicked out of the boy scouts, I was kicked out of summer camp. I never fit and I didn’t like conforming. And sometimes it just broke through the membrane, and I was out.

By the end of the 60s, all of my friends, the musician friends of mine, had gone through a transition in their dress, and especially in their music, and what I noticed was that all of these great artists—Bob Dylan, Buffalo Springfield, Joan Baez—all of these people were using their art to express themselves politically and socially. And I was not. I was still doing people-pleasing.

I was 30, and I resonated much more truly with the 20-year-olds. I was more in line with them than I was with these people I was entertaining in nightclubs. I began to notice that. I began to be affected by it, and along the way, the judicious use of some mescaline and some LSD managed to accelerate the process. It gave me more of an insight into how false the world was I was settling for, and to see that there was something much richer and better and more authentic. And those changes happened, they just—they happened naturally and organically. It took about 2 years for the total changeover to occur.

My beard got a little longer, the hair got a little longer, the clothing changed, and then I suddenly found myself being as—the best combination of both, this person I really was who was kind of out of step, antiauthoritarian, who also had these skills and talents that he was honing to express himself. And so I started expressing those feelings.

So Elsa's talking lately about her son's best friend, who periodically dumps him and then comes crawling back.

"Now as it happens the quirky Aquarian has Moon Saturn conjunct in Aries. That’s no fun so I have some sympathy for this kid. He is bound to be acting something out. Rejecting Vid, as he has been rejected himself for example.

This turns out to be true. Poor kiddo.

A sorta-related story from another moon square Saturn person...Saturn Return is a big focus here.

"For my early twenties, Saturn brought me kids, too–a mess of them! I’d never wanted to be a mom at all. When the subject of children came up, I had my favorite line: “Children are no good until they’re old enough to threaten.” I meant it, more or less. I didn’t like kids. I don’t know if my biological clock would have disturbed me later in life, but it didn’t get the chance. At 22, I was pregnant and married a man with custody of his two children. I was senselessly in love with him, or I’d never have gone for it! I went from a single person to a married mother-of-three within the span of a month. And all this committing was in the middle of the first in a series of custody hearings, thank you very much. That’s a good way to learn about growing up, too, let me tell ya.

And when I was 28…well, that’s when we lost custody of my husband’s two kids in the third custody hearing…kids whom by then I had spent several years mothering and loved dearly. I believed they were going to a crazy, violent environment. I knew in my gut we would not be allowed to see them once the scrutiny of the court wasn’t pushing visitation. And the kicker? My stepdaughter, at 8, helped orchestrate it on the sly. In court, we heard a school paper called “The Greatest Day of My Life about her leaving. Ow. We got a letter from her about how she wanted her new stepfather to adopt her because she didn’t want to be in our family any more.Ow. Knowing it wasn’t really coming from her only helped slightly.
I was devastated. We were all devastated Overnight, half of our family disappeared; my 4-year-old started having nightmares. It hit us all, and hard.
True to my prediction, the kids were moved out of state and kept from all contact with us. Saturn + Pisces = family disappearing and reappearing acts. (I have also experienced the disappearing family phenomena with three brothers, who still don’t speak to me because of religious differences.) The separation from my stepkids lasted exactly seven years.
They also reappeared again, pretty much overnight. We got a call late one Fourth of July from our stepdaughter totally out of the blue. And we had a brief chance to connect with our stepson during that time, until he disappeared again.
My stepdaughter ended up moving in with us, and that was a wild ride! Her affection for us came and went in unpredictable cycles and, as far as I can determine, still does. Whether we’re in contact with her at a given time or not, sometimes she’s emotionally present, and other times, any interaction has simply become a vehicle to get something from us. At times the relationship went beyond stormy to being a major disruption in our lives, and at certain points, we’ve had to completely detach to keep from being pulled under. So you’ve got Saturn and Pisces, service and suffering, tied up with emotional, maternal moon energy. Many tears have been cried, you know?
Now? Well, I’m 42. Uh oh. My stepson has again disappeared recently, angry over something, but I have no idea what. He’s twenty. Wonder if he’ll be gone until his Saturn return?
My stepdaugher, who has disappeared and reappeared so many times I’ve lost count, is in a “reappearing” phase and wants to be my best buddy. The hot and cold has been excruciating."

OUCH.