5 posts tagged “sun chiron”

"The one thing I know about love for sure is that it's the only game in town and that you must keep going back to bat again and again. I have no respect for anyone who says they've given up, or that they're not looking or that they're tired. That is to abrogate one's responsibility as a human being." -from A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love

So, kind of in preparation for Elsa's next class, I was looking at my analysis from the previous one, which pretty much reiterates that I am a total bitch and a half when it comes to relationships and I suspect it would take an act of God to get me involved again. I can't help but think that if I was a professional and saw my chart, I'd tell me something like, "Look, you're gonna be miserable without a relationship, but you're also gonna have tons of issues within one, plus making the dude miserable. Considering that you can't win either way, I'd say to do lifelong singledom because at least this way you're not torturing someone else too."

Since I think this way, you can imagine how I find the above quote to be irritating as fuckall.

Now, I happen to own a much-treasured copy of A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love (if you can dig it up in a used bookstore, I HIGHLY recommend it. Any of the Curmudgeon books, for that matter), and it features an interview with Harlan Ellison, who got married four times before finally sticking with wife #5. Now, I don't have my copy in front of me and I can't find the direct quote I'm thinking of online, but he says something along the lines of, "If I, of all people, can finally find lasting love, it could happen to anybody." Well, maybe that's the case. I hear he's...interesting...to deal with in real life. But the interview itself is pretty entertaining to read, what with his worst date ever, how he can't go into details about losing his virginity but it was like a docking maneuver in 2001, etc. And if you read the link above, there's another quote about WHY he's had so many women split on him. But presumably Susan doesn't find him irritating. Go figure.

So I figured I'd check the guy's chart to see how much of a hard nut he is to crack. And he's got the usual suspects of difficulty in there: Mars Saturn square, Moon Saturn square, and Venus Saturn sextile. Venus Uranus loose-ish conjunction in seventh for all those sudden relationships squaring Pluto, and the Moon trines Pluto. UH-OH TEH DRAMA KABOOMBAH comes to mind seeing that. And oh, look, sun conjunct Chiron. So, yeah, me and Harlan Ellison are real goddamned lulus in relationship. That's...fun to know.

Here.

People with close Sun-Chiron conjunctions often are healers, and this is all the more true for you with your eighth-house Sun. The conjunction with the North Node tells me that this is your destiny, and it’s about to be triggered by the cardinal T-square in 2010. The trick is that we first have to heal ourselves, and planets on the South Node often give us clues for how to go about this. You may want to think about how you view material possessions and whether you would be prepared to give it all up if fulfilling your purpose in life depended on it. Moreover, you may want to meditate on how past and future are balanced in your present.

Here.

Chiron-Mars. The ability to assert ourselves and our desires, and to express anger, come into play with Mars. With Chiron in hard aspect to Mars, we are somehow ashamed of expressing our desires directly and confidently. Perhaps we don’t expect our desires to be met. My friend has a child who would rarely ask for anything from his parents directly. Instead, he would convince his sisters to ask his parents for what he wanted. Although mostly even-tempered, he would sometimes have huge angry outbursts with tears following the outbursts–nothing violent or alarming, but nevertheless choppy. When asked by his mother why he always seemed to enlist the help of a sibling to ask for something that he wanted, he replied that “you wouldn’t do it if I asked”. The mother didn’t think that was true, but the issue here is that it is a personal reality for him–that’s how he perceives things.

I have that one, and that is exactly how it plays out. I don't believe too many people will do something or give me something if I have to ask for it.

Another child I know who has Mercury conjunct Chiron in Libra (and widely opposing Saturn) asked why it seems that every time she has the courage to state her opinion on something, it seems to completely backfire. She feels that others around her can easily express an opinion without negative feedback, but when she says something even slightly provocative, it’s met with raised eyebrows.

So it’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing, and can very much be a vicious circle. If we’re scared of expressing ourselves, when we do summon up the courage to do it, it can come out either too aggressively or too emotionally–unnaturally–and is thus somehow ineffective. This then feeds the very feeling of ineffectiveness that is at the root of the unnatural expression.

With Sun-Chiron in hard aspect, there can be a feeling of embarrassment following a Sun-style expression of “shining”–of strutting your stuff.

True dat.

I don’t think crying spontaneously is necessarily a signature of Moon-Chiron, but there is a deep emotional sensitivity there that is unmistakable and expressed in different ways. Similar to the outbursts of temper with hard Mars-Chiron I mentioned above, one of the challenges of hard Moon-Chiron aspects is to express the emotions naturally and evenly, instead of holding onto them in fear, bottling them up, until emotions come out in a dramatic moment, after which there is embarrassment and awkwardness. With Moon-Chiron, we can have a real feeling that others don’t care about our emotions, but this feeling is on some level self-fulfilling. It’s the vicious circle thing again. Holding onto your feelings to the point that when you express them, it comes out as an outburst, is baffling to others. They don’t know how to react, and this feeds the feeling of ineffectiveness or lack of validation that caused the pattern.

You may recall yesterday when I was talking about this book and mentioned the Chiron is an unfixable wound thing.

Well, that night I was in a car with a friend of mine whose life is going to crap. She's got a bad family situation that she is utterly trapped in, and on top of that, her job has gone to hell due to a crazy, unpleasable boss. She is the butt monkey there and that's all there is to it. She's pretty well near nuclear meltdown and is fed up with her current career, but cannot afford to lose her job because there's kids and a husband who's job hunting.

The first half hour or so that I see her is just kind of post-work meltdown time, and during that she was saying that she thought she was just broken and unfixable and there's no way to fix yourself. That she used to think if you prayed hard enough and did enough work on yourself to figure out why you were broken, that you could fix it. Except the prayer never worked and just because you know how you got broken doesn't mean that you know how to fix it.

I knew her birth date but was all, "What is your birth year?", because I HAD to go check her Chiron placement. She is not so much into the hippie crap as I am, so I didn't say anything much about astrology specifically, but I wanted to.

Well, she's got a stellium in Pisces opposing the Uranus/Pluto conjunction. And she's got the Sun and Saturn and Chiron all next to each other. As a Sun Chiron person, I related.

Wounded, indeed. Poor girl. I worry about her, but I don't see any way to fix her life either.

I know someone who...well, let's say his take on relationships is odd. After his first wife cheated on him and they divorced, he's proceeded to marry for not-exactly-twue-wuv twice. Second wife figured out it wasn't love on his part and dumped him. Third wife... well, they seem to have one of those relationships where they don't spend all that much time together, even after marriage. It baffles me. Meanwhile, he is frequently off hanging around with a bunch of supposedly-just-friends-but-he's-flirty other women.

He's been asked why he does all the marriages, and he's all, "After the first one broke my heart, I'll never love like that again." (And yet he still seems to semi-chase women and marry a few.)

I can't say I have ever understood this behavior. But then I looked at his chart...

Venus/Saturn conjunct, and Sun/Chiron conjunct. Well, no bloody wonder.

He also likes older women (Venus/Saturn).