4 posts tagged “sunshines”

Another dose o' astro-poetry!

WHY PEOPLE LOSE THEMSELVES IN MOVIES AND MUSIC
(ANDSOMETIMES OTHER THINGS)
sometimes it's hard to get satisfaction
and gratification
relationships are disappointing
you feel rejected
deals fall through
people burn bridges
there are even tragic separations
what's up with these ferocious attachments and why?
There are a million things in this galaxy you can have
and a million things you can't have
and when you start obsessing over the things you
DON'T have,
you get in trouble.
When you start hungering for what ISN'T
or what CAN'T BE
at least for now
you do go a little crazy
and you start displacing your frustration and anger
all over the place
and you try to find a spot to put your
confusion or sense of deprivation and rejection
Why the hell do you think I wrote SUNSHINES?
Absolutely true
Because when deep emotions take over
and your yearning for satisfaction
is not answered
no amount of rational explanation
seems to help
you can talk to yourself until you're blue in the face
but that desperate yearning still gnaws at you
and the only antidote is to turn away from it
and find within yourself
the strength
not to give in to an old addiction
the addiction to chasing
things that probably won't bring you happiness anyway
at least not right now
there is, however, a place you can turn to
that is where you should be
where you will find peace
from chaotic emotions
but you have to surrender first
do you know how to surrender?
You ask for help
from the Universe, or God
or the Force
or whatever it is
that binds all life together
Don't laugh.
Thats' why I wrote SUNSHINES
Happy Eclipse
we live on two levels at once
especially this weekend during this eclipse
there's the ideal world of fantasy and romance
and music and spiritual freedom, enlightenment and fulfillment
and then
there's reality
getting up and going to work, digestive problems,
and the drudgery of the everyday grind
so when your expectations and yearnings
come crashing against the harshness of the world we live in
it is bound to be

sunday
now look at what happened
what you did and
how you sought to alleviate your anxiety
put something in place so you wouldn't be
alone or hungry or rejected
it was a ritual
a habit
some automatic response you have
driven by unconscious needs
to relieve the pressure of your real life
and keep away your fears of being
denied gratification
and
then what
now you just go on
not quite the same as you were before
although something you cannot deny is over
is over
a line is drawn between today and yesterday

(Third in a series.)

I found this writeup on a talk by Michael Lutin. Man, I wish I could go to such (or afford it, 'cause $ka-ching$), because it sounds very interesting. This talks about how he constructed and wrote the book.

Checking the comments, I laughed at this one:

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is in a major crisis over whether to build her life around supporting her husband in his demanding profession or whether she should insist on her own individuality. I took a quick look at their charts. His NNode is in the 10th house, hers is smack dab on the Descendant, conjunct Venus.

Sounds like a perfect match- she's SUPPOSED to support him and give up her individuality, so if she wants to, the universe supports it. (Even if the idea of it makes me shudder. Then again, Libra North Node pretty much equates to seventh house, you're supposed to give up your individuality anyway. Uck. I think with my placement, I'm supposed to give it up to friends, though. Yeah, like THAT's worked well in the past.)

Also, he said that he mentions toward the back of the book that using his house system with the real Ascendant and not the solar chart produces an even more revealing picture of South Node issues. This is the one that we don't want to tell anybody, he said.

Hm, I know I looked at my Ascendant ones awhile back, but damned if I can remember what the results of that were. Must check. I suspect it had similar results, though.

Apparently, Michael Lutin has no idea of what to make of someone who has cross-aspects (1st Libra, 7th Aries). Me either. Other than "well, I guess you're gonna get a really big headache." Or act like me and my mother.
jm, s/he (I'm not sure which) of the aforementioned node series, had more to say about that in the comments here.

The SN in the 7th, no matter what sign, is about independence. Learning to leave relationships and the truth that you can do without them when the time comes. An eye on the exit sign is always a good idea. The SN in Aries 7th is major issues about dominance. This can work both ways as to who dominates, but ultimately the inequity doesn't work. One is forced to follow the other.
The NN in Libra is seeking fair and balanced equal relationships, first of all with the self(1st house). The result will be equal relationships with others you couldn't even have imagined. Dependency is everything here. Once you establish the center of the realtionship in yourself, then a natural dependency can follow. Until then, there is a squirm to get free of others. Selfishness, me first, etc. are all neceassary with the NN in the 1st. The problem with the reverse nodes like these is that selfishness was a detriment in the past, and has to be reworked, but not abandoned. Controlled and balanced. The constant power struggles in relationships are the way to relearn. Dominance is still required but only over the self with these nodes.
There is also a lesson in gentle and civilized behavior. And probably most of all...identity. So separation and return to togetherness are always a must. Learning a flow between these two, without extremes, panic, end of world, clinging, pushing away hard, etc.

Okay, I am definitely enjoying scoping out this blog. More over here:

I don't recall that he actually uses the word "North Node." He has devised an interesting method of numbering, depending on the year you were born, and then, based on that number, he tells you what issues you need to work on. Anyone who knows astrology will immediately recognize that number 3 involves communications style, number 4 is family issues, etc. Moreover, if you are familiar with nodes, you will realize that he treats these areas as though they were the South Node, and then tells you what you need to pour your energy into, which is the North Node.
So, JM, what he told me is that I need I to get out of the house and go to work! That no matter how much I want to stay in the comfort and security of seclusion, that my destiny is to get out there and be seen and heard.
Haven't I heard that somewhere before?
Furthermore, he nailed a couple of personal issues right on the head, in a frank, straightforward way that knocked me out of my chair. I was stunned for two or three days.
He has this way of telling you to get off your butt and get to work - no sugar-coating or making nice - and yet somehow you're laughing. And you just know he's right.
As for his numbering system, I can't say whether it would work the same way for everyone as it did for me. Maybe it was just a coincidence that the number he came up with for me corresponds to my South Node. It certainly is no coincidence, however, that he writes in "node language." Anyone who knows nodes will recognize it immediately.

(I'm going to be doing a series (of sorts) on nodes. This is the first in the series.)

I've been meaning to do some sort of review of SunShines on here, but of course forgot about it. For now, let's just leave it as, YOU MUST GO FUCKING BUY IT, PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD. It should be one of the top books someone should get on astrology. (Some day I should do a post on that.) He has it structured based on a combination of sun sign (or rising sign) and your nodes, and you're given a speciflc number entry to check on yourself, and then are recommended to read two chapters in particular in the back of the book about what you do and what you should be doing.

Instead, I wrote some entries on ye olde other journal on this topic (mainly because I was doing a daily posting schedule that month there and needed some freaking writing fodder), mainly related to my reactions to the "Independence" chapter in the book. In general, it was both scary accurate and deeply depressing for me.

I had a very depressing conversation with my mother on the phone Thursday night. It pretty much started out with the usual: "Whyyyyyy don't you like to talk on the phone? I love talking on the phone. I want us to be Oprah and Gayle and talk on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why don't you check your phone messages often?" (Because you leave me 12 at a time, dammit, and now I don't want to check them AT ALL when I have to wade through all that to see if anyone else fucking called.) "Why do you even have a phone? Why won't you turn your phone on so I can call you? Talk to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!"

*sigh*

I said that I don't like talking on the phone, I don't like being interrupted by phone calls, I have a hard time listening to conversations without visuals attached. So, no, I don't want to be Oprah and Gayle. (And frankly, when I did talk to her Every Single Day for OVER A YEAR, I was incredibly miserable, and perked up noticeably once I cut her phone calls.  There is only so much bitching about her work I can listen to after awhile.)

This led into a big ol' lecture out of her about how I should really want to ask about someone's day, and how I'm self-centered, and I really need to choose people and put them first and live my life for them instead of myself.

And let me just say, it was pretty well fucking dead on the same kinds of stuff about me from SunShines. I guess this is the kind of thing you get when your mother has the exact same opposites nodes as you. I bug and bug her to LEARN SOME FREAKING INDEPENDENCE ALREADY, and she ignores it and bitches at me to start looking for other people to take care of, y'know, like HER.

It was a kick upside the head in general, though. And yet, I still want to say, "But when other people are letting you know that you suck all of the time, why the hell should I be seeking them out? Why the hell should other people be my only source of joy and happiness if all I hear about is how I suck?" I wouldn't have those voices in my head if others hadn't installed them there.

Michael Lutin's book on the moon's nodes. (Too bad it's not out for another month.)

I really need to write some more book reviews for this page again. I haven't done it in a long time.

How many of us
have stayed in a bad relationship way too long
because we thought we were going to get something from it
we ended up never getting?
Or messed up a good one
because we were chasing after something else
we never found?
Im business OR personal life
WE can thank the Moon's Nodes for that!
Maybe there's a way out.
Not a fast way
but a way,
There's got to be a way.
SUNSHINES is all about the devilishly delicious things
we run around the back of the barn to get
because we think they will make us happy
and they do.
Momentarily.
There are, however,
other areas of life that could make us
really happy and permanently fulfilled.
But yuk! they seem boring when compared
to what waits behind the barn.
And that is the rub.
And for all those infantile desires
that never get us anywhere
although they do provide
great release from tension
how do we find those things
that will make us really and truly happy?
That's the quest.
And that's why I have been writing SUNSHINES for the past
umpteen years.
tick tock
coming so soon
You'll laugh
You'll cry
You'll tear your hair
You'll love it.
FOR ALL REAL ASTROLOGY BUFFS AND ASTROLOGERS
Over the years many people have been encouraging me
to write a book on the Moon's Nodes,
since I believe the nodal axis of the Moon
is probably the most profound factor
in determining the success or failure of human relationships.
Also, the Solar Chart, ( Sun Sign chart)
often overlooked,
is a powerful element in determining destiny.
I put them both together in this book.
I hope everybody enjoys "SUNSHINES"
and I promise one thing:
You'll be able to refer to it forever,
mainly because
in the appendix of the book
you will find
your deepest secrets
you don't want everybody to know
NOT TO MENTION THE DEEPEST SECRETS
OF EVERYBODY ELSE