More on nodes and synastry

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:29:59 -0700

My question on nodes and synastry made it to Real Astrologers today. Woot! (I really need to do a writeup now that I have full astro-data for my mom...)

"awhile back I waded through a bunch of family birth dates to look for reversed nodes patterns. The most reversed nodes were between mother and child for some reason."

O RLY?!?! (Yes, I thought that.)

"Reversed nodes are not easy to live with, because the nodes represent a strong theme in our lives and in the case of reversed nodes, very simply put, you are going in opposite directions. Most often the child moved far away from the mother as soon as possible because of the irritation factor."

Makes sense. I have moved, but Not Far Enough, as many people point out. Moving farther away isn't really an option though (or at least, I can't afford a farther move). And really, for me it's the communication factor that drives me nuts more than the in-person, and the communication factor won't be negated by moving. Which is to say, she wants CONSTANT communication between us, and that's where I have the problem. I can deal with visiting fine, but the communication demands, no.

"With a planet or planets conjunct a node, they act to amplify the nodal energy. Even Venus, who has a reputation for being pleasant, can come off as cloying. Jan Spiller, in her book Cosmic Love, suggests the South Node person may feel a sense of indebtedness to the Venus person, who is inclined to be overly permissive in this instance. The Venus/North Node conjunction is about helping each other with self-worth issues."

Yes, I feel VERY INDEBTED to her. I'm her mother and her child and her spouse at this point in time, and all three mean that I have to take care of her. I'm shitty at it, but I can't abandon her.

"In the case of the North Node/Venus conjunction, finding a balance between being supportive and nurturing oneself may be easier to sort out, because we are usually more detached when it comes to the North Node. However, the South Node/Venus conjunction may take more tact to handle. If it were me, I’d opt for distance. Then, I’m a Libra and not fond of confrontation!
My mother’s North Node was in Libra conjunct my Moon/Neptune. In the end, I had to move out of town for several years to help separate my emotional baggage from hers. We were always close, but it was my choice to keep a measure of distance between us. Otherwise, I ended up feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s what we need to do to preserve our sanity with nodal connections . . . maintain some distance."

*sigh* Yeah.

"First, a relationship is never based on one aspect, dramatic though it may be. Chances are, you have lots of other things going on between your charts, and these are feeding into your Venus-Node discomfort. If you have to interact with these people on a regular basis, you might want to order a compatibility reading to help you determine where you might be able to connect positively.
Second, while there are often cases of simple “bad chemistry” over which you have no control, that the nodes are involved with these two people tells me that there may be a valuable lesson for you if you stick with the relationship. I believe this is especially true with your mother, since it’s your North Node that’s involved here."

Most likely...it's probably to FORCE ME to partner with someone (even if it's not in a way I want to partner) and be responsible for them and take care of them, I'd guess. Since with the Aries SN I am not inclined to that at all.

"Not everyone is amenable to having heart-felt discussions, and you may not trust them enough to want to reveal your innermost fears and vulnerability. But at the very least, have that discussion with yourself. How do these two people reflect what’s going on inside of you? In the case of your mother, did she project her issues onto you as a child, so that now it appears that they’re yours? If so, might she be reinforcing them? My therapist in the late 80s called this the “family trance.” No matter how much we grow and evolve or how aware we are of childhood programming, when we get back together with family, we’re somehow sucked back into the old patterns."

Oh yes, that is true. I have interesting conversations with my shrink about that :)

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Past life incest

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:27:20 -0700

I truly hope that past lives don't exist (even though my religion is all, "they most certainly DO"). I find the idea of them to be REALLY depressing.

That said, about the one thing that ever convinces me that past lives exist for sure is astrology. Because sometimes just looking at charts, I am like, "WHOA."

For example, me and Mom and our opposite nodes. (Which this site claims is a sign of soul mates. Eeek, I say.) She has Venus right on her north node, which means it's on my south node.

Supposedly having a planet on your north node is supposed to help you go towards that goal. Lovely for her (though I certainly don't think it's happening), but crap for me.

I don't like to be the person who is all, "Planets on the south node hold you back in synastry, man, it's baaad!" I loathe that interpretation. That said, it does feel that way with my mother. I've read interpretations that amount to "you were star-crossed lovers in a former life" and to some degree, given how I feel practically married to her, obligated to her, in charge of her...yeah, seems right.

Ugh, married to my mother, though...

I find Venus conjunct NORTH node to be very attractive- enough to make me think, "I need to end up with someone with Venus at the end of Virgo or start of Libra...paging all fall birthday boys!" But south, argh.

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Saturn Return Can Bite Me

More on nodes and synastry

Past life incest